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Result page:   1  2  3  Next  (50 images)

1.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-12 Pub. Date: 2012-05-12
Image Number: 80673
Caption: Why am I here? Well … I've been insecure about something my whole life. Dr. Noodle. You probably can't guess what it is. Everyone's always told me it's just in my head. But still, sometimes I'm so insecure about it, I won't even go outside. Having a big one's normal. Plenty of five-foot tall men have ones that look like they belong on seven-foot tall men. What? I'm talking about my armpit odor. Oh ... um ... Wait ... what are you getting at?
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2.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-29 Pub. Date: 2012-04-29
Image Number: 79399
Caption: I've been a nonconformist all my life, Theodore. Dr. Noodle. When my mother told me to walk on the sidewalk, I walked in the middle of the street instead. When my boss told me to charge customers, I gave them all the cash from the register. When the tester at the DMV told me to "Get on that on-ramp," I backed onto the off-ramp instead. The other day, it finally dawned on me: My mom's not taking my calls, I'm unemployed, and I can't rent a car because I have no license. First of all, my name's Sigmund. Whatever, Albert.
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3.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-08 Pub. Date: 2012-04-08
Image Number: 77837
Caption: All of the women I've dated in the past year pale in comparison to Kelly, because they don’t want me the way Kelly wanted me. Dr. Noodle. I can't settle for someone who doesn’t say she couldn’t live without me, that she'd die if she couldn’t smell my scent, taste my lips ... Like Kelly did. I can't settle for someone who doesn't say she loves me more than her family, more than her work, even more than God. Like Kelly did. Interesting, then, that she kept disappearing for months at a time, never once came to visit you, and only gave you a couple hours of her time when you'd visit her. Does that incongruity tell you anything? Like what? Like maybe NOBODY can ever want you "like Kelly did." Not even Kelly.
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4.  
Cartoonist(s): John Hambrock
Comic/Cartoon: The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee
Viewable Date: 2012-04-08 Pub. Date: 2012-04-08
Image Number: 77783
Caption: Are you tired of messy accidents in the kitchen? I … Um … How many times have you tried to drain noodles … Only to have THIS happen? OW! HEY! … Or had this happen while pouring spaghetti sauce into those annoying stovetop pans? BLORP! Well, you're in luck, 'cause now there's the Blobco "All-In-One" pasta and sauce cooker. It's quick! It's easy ... It's - As Seen on TV. Dinner's ready! Blink. I had the strangest dream. Dear, will you please drain this pasta for me? I've never seen dad run screaming into the bathroom like that!
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5.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-26 Pub. Date: 2012-02-26
Image Number: 76209
Caption: What's the main reason I'm here, you mean? Dr. Noodle. I'd have to say the main reason is that I'm controlled by my fears. … Or maybe it's because I interrupt people way too much. … Or maybe it's because my parents are suffocating me. … Or maybe it's because I have trouble making decisions. Eureka. Maybe I actually don't need therapy.
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6.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-09 Pub. Date: 2012-02-09
Image Number: 76090
Caption: Last night, I dreamt I was dreaming. Dr. Noodle. Recursive dreams can be very disturbing. But there are tools you can use to tell you're still asleep. That's not it. I'm just bummed that the dream I dreamt I had was more interesting that the dream I actually had. Never mind. Tell me about the tools. Sorry, time's up.
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7.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-25 Pub. Date: 2011-12-25
Image Number: 73844
Caption: So why'd you quit your job? Told you. Dr. Noodle. Humor me. Fine. One more time … My boss came over to me, turned to everyone and said "I don’t like this brother. I never liked this brother. This brother never works." Seriously. Then she said "We need to get better brothers in this office or not get any at all." Turns out she was talkin' 'bout the printer behind me. Oh. Well that was just a misunderstanding. Then she said brothers must be made by Mexicans.
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8.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-18 Pub. Date: 2011-12-18
Image Number: 73657
Caption: Would you say you have any flaws? Depends … Do you think always answering a question with a question is a flaw? Dr. Noodle. Do you feel the NEED to know whether I think answering a question with a question is a flaw before you can decide for yourself? PhD. Don't you get paid to provide answers? PhD. Does a math tutor get paid to do a child's homework for him? PhD. Does a rolling stone gather moss? PhD. Now you're just reaching. I won! PhD.
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9.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-04 Pub. Date: 2011-12-04
Image Number: 73141
Caption: I realized something today. It's been months since I checked my email to see if Kelly had written to me. Dr. Noodle. I used to check every day. Sometimes a dozen times a day. And when she did write, my heart would scratch at the door and run around in circle after circle till I grabbed it's leash to calm it down. I would live for those rare, precious emails where she'd tell me she's thinking of me and loves me with all her heart. But now I've gone months without even checking, doctor, MONTHS. For the last time, no you may not borrow my computer. But the one at the library is still broken!
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10.  
Cartoonist(s): Nick Anderson
Comic/Cartoon: Nick Anderson's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-10 Pub. Date: 2011-11-10
Image Number: 73063
Caption: Debt. Italy.
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11.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-16 Pub. Date: 2011-10-16
Image Number: 66180
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Nobody talks about me anymore. I'm a has-been. A nobody. Like you. No offense, buddy. None taken. None of the big stores is even mentioning me. Mr. Claus ... you do know it's October, right? Don't rub it in, pal. In the nineties, when things were going great, stores would be all up in my business, talking about me as early as Labor Day. It's tough to cope with the loss of celebrity. But with a lot of hard work, you can avoid the usual downward spiral of booze, womanizing and rehab. Focus on bettering yourself. Shed your anger. Learn yoga. Lose weight. How'd you like a lifetime supply of coal, buddy?
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12.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-09 Pub. Date: 2011-10-09
Image Number: 66121
Caption: Dr. Noodle. I earn as much as my brother, and he just bought a house. So I tried to buy one too only to find out I can't, because I'm self-employed. And lenders now won't give a mortgage because all my legitimate business deductions make it look like my income is a lot smaller than it really is. So I have two choices. Give up my business and get a full-time job, or stop taking deductions and owe the IRS $20 grand. Hmmm ... I see. Or I can get a cosigner. Well, it appears our time is up. It's only been two minutes. Speaking of which, how's your credit score?
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13.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
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14.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-28 Pub. Date: 2011-08-28
Image Number: 64455
Caption: When the President refused to exted the Bush tax cuts, he explained why and that made sense to me. Dr. Noodle. But then when he extend them, I was confused. When the President insisted on a public option for health care, he explained why and that made sense to me. But then he abandoned the public option. I was confused. When the President insisted that the very rich, not just the poor, have to sacrifice to help balance the budget, that made sense to me. But then he signed a bill that didn't ask the very rich to pay even a single cent more in taxes. And you're confused. Not anymore. I miss being confused.
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15.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-12 Pub. Date: 2011-07-12
Image Number: 63188
Caption: Roxanne's lawyer calls a rebuttal witness to challenge Doctor Noodle's assessment that Lemont Brown is a sane, fit father. Mr. Benny Russell … … Were you Lemont Brown's cellmate at Sunnyville Sanitarium? No one will give me any paper. Do you remember where you are? Do you remember who I am? You're the man who promised to give me paper if I say "Lemont Brown is totally insane." OBJECTION! Overruled. If I don't finish my story the captain can't open the orb box, and if he can't open the orb box, he can't contact the prophets.
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16.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-30 Pub. Date: 2011-06-30
Image Number: 62674
Caption: Dr. Noodle, would you say Lemont Brown is insane, and therefore an unfit parent? You'll say Lemont is insane. Or I'll eat you. I'm Dr. Noodle. You're safe here. You can trust me. Lem … Lemont Brown is … … every bit as sane as I am.
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17.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-29 Pub. Date: 2011-06-29
Image Number: 62673
Caption: Doctor Noodle. Your credentials are impressive. Winner of the Sigmund Freud Award. Three years running. Winner of the Candorville psychologists who work on Gilman Street between Third and Fourth Avenues Association Award. Competition was fierce. Nobel prize ... ... Third runner up? Should've shaved for the swimsuit round.
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18.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-28 Pub. Date: 2011-06-28
Image Number: 62672
Caption: State yur name. Doctor Sigmund Mesmer Noodle. Do you solemnly swear an oath to tell the truth, so help you God? No. If I were going to lie, then I would be a liar. And if I were a liar, then my oath would be worthless. The real reason courts don't have therapists testify. Have you always sought empty promises from the people in your life, Judge?
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19.  
Cartoonist(s): Jim Borgman
Jerry Scott
Comic/Cartoon: Zits
Viewable Date: 2010-12-09 Pub. Date: 2010-12-09
Image Number: 55026
Caption: Someday can we have something other than spaghetti for lunch? But we're so cute when we eat it!
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20.  
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-08 Pub. Date: 2010-11-08
Image Number: 53956
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Why do bad things happen to me? I'm a good person. I pay my taxes, I donate blood, I help little old ladies cross the street … … But I end up with an evil ex-fiancee, a friend who leaches off me, a receding hairline … Is this a bad time to tell you I'm raising my hourly fee? From now on the little old ladies are on their own!
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